Today’s speaker was Paul Whiteley on “Part-time Tales Plus”, a follow up to his previous talk, “Part-time Tales”, given 2 years ago.
Paul recounted incidents, events and people he encountered whilst broadcasting part-time on radio for Huddersfield Town and other part-time jobs.
His talk began with a notice at the end of Bangor pier, “The key for the disabled toilet is available from the kiosk at the entrance to the pier”.
At Dagenham football ground it was known for the linesmen to swap sides after half-time, not a usual practice, but there was a woman near the touchline with an umbrella who was known to trip up the linesman!
Paul remembers canvassing one time when the door was opened by a 14-year old, smoking and with a drink in his hand. “Are Mum and Dad in?” Paul asked. “Does it expletive look like it?” was the reply.
He remembered working as a security guard collecting cash from a Pakistani Cash and Carry where the 16-year old clerk spoke with a local accent. He couldn’t understand his cousin in Glasgow who also had a local accent when speaking in English, so, they had to converse in Urdu.
The one I liked best was the tale of the driver of a hearse. He was driving alone and had collected a body from the hospital to deliver it to the morgue. As he was driving he felt a tap on his shoulder! Apparently, the cat had climbed in at the hospital and secreted itself in the secondary storage area.
Another tale of the same ilk was of a wind-up toy that had been placed in the coffin, one of many odd things that found their way into coffins. This one went off during the service.
Paul finished with some notable quotes
Ian Rush - couldn’t settle in Italy “It was a foreign country.”
Paul Gascoigne – 10 bookings, 6 were mine and the other 5 disputable.
Unknown – stated that anyone could be US president. Now he believes it.
The tales came thick and fast, so if I have missed your favourite tale, my apologies.